This is the bat rep you all have been waiting for. The mighty steel legion faces down the ork walkers for battle supremacy in the campaign to keep the dirty humans back in their own space. With a whopping fourteen tanks lining up to end the orks day, it was going to be a brutal slugfest of drinking, yelling, and balling so hard.
That Smoke in the background is not a good sign!
This battle would swing back and forth from turn to turn, with every tea light marker being used, and the orks taking massive losses. This battle was also vs Dan, and was one of my all time most enjoyable 40k games I've ever played. How much fun was it? Lets just say our secondary points were "Drinking, Yelling, and Having fun".
Dread Mob vs Steel Host!
| Narrative Rules/Supplements |
Mission 5: Kill the things with the other things.
Primary Objectives: KILL KILL KILL
Secondary Objectives: Yelling, Drinking, Balling so Hard
Tertiary Objectives: Points destroyed.
Deployment: Vanguard
Nightfighting: YES!
Primary Objectives: KILL KILL KILL
Secondary Objectives: Yelling, Drinking, Balling so Hard
Tertiary Objectives: Points destroyed.
Deployment: Vanguard
Nightfighting: YES!
| Trust in Rust |
| Dan's Steel Host! |
Deployment
It was vanguard deployment, which is my least favorite to setup, but one of my most favorite to play...because it puts you pretty close to the action. Dan won the roll off to go first, so I deployed to create multiple flanks to try and box him in. He reserved a punisher, plasma death machine tank, and an autocannon tank who felt leftout, and wondered why he didn't get his own battlecannon. I put my bikes into a location to scout up behind LOS. I prepared myself for the incoming death, and drank heavily. (This night was so awesome it isn't even possible to put into words how awesome this game was).
Nightfighting was on....I tried to seize.
DA BOSS GETS THE SEIZE! GIT UM BOYZ!
Nightfighting was on....I tried to seize.
DA BOSS GETS THE SEIZE! GIT UM BOYZ!
Turn 1: So many Tanks!
The first turn for the dread mob is always a quick one. I run the entire army. Facing an AV14 wall, pretty much all my shooting was useless. So I ran the walkers, and turbo boosted the bikes right into the face of the wyverns, forcing Dan to have to shift his tanks around to avoid hitting himself in the face. I was super excited, both from the yelling, and the drinking,and the fact so many dreads were going to get to charge tanks! How would this turn out???
A series of loud booms ripped across the ork lines. Wat DAT? The big mek cried! "I gots to havez it!". Then rounds began impacting on the line of walkers. Sarah Jessica Parkour took a str 10 ap1 (TL, thank you narrative cards!) blast right in the face, leaving nothing but a smoking crater. (meka dread gone). Sir Flames a lot had his pride charge ended by a series of what could only be called "endless pie plates of death". He didn't explode though, ending up a flaming wreck (job done!).
A group of melta addicts fired upon Sergeant Banana's ride, and he watched its legs come to a screeching halt (immobilized). As if to add insult to injury, the other giant gorkanaut was damaged and immobilized as well, stopping the ork advance in it's tracks! (This has never happened to me ever!). Big Mek Rick Roll swore to repair his favorite behemoth!
The wyverns fired on the ork bikers, who dipped, ducked, and dodged just like they practiced vs wrenches, but took a series of dodge balls to their lesser members, leaving only the warboss, the big mek, and the painboy left. They shouted in righteous anger for Francis, Bo Pew Pew, and Exhaust Pume Patty who would no longer share in their endless krumping joy. Talk about a brutal ork turn!
A group of melta addicts fired upon Sergeant Banana's ride, and he watched its legs come to a screeching halt (immobilized). As if to add insult to injury, the other giant gorkanaut was damaged and immobilized as well, stopping the ork advance in it's tracks! (This has never happened to me ever!). Big Mek Rick Roll swore to repair his favorite behemoth!
The wyverns fired on the ork bikers, who dipped, ducked, and dodged just like they practiced vs wrenches, but took a series of dodge balls to their lesser members, leaving only the warboss, the big mek, and the painboy left. They shouted in righteous anger for Francis, Bo Pew Pew, and Exhaust Pume Patty who would no longer share in their endless krumping joy. Talk about a brutal ork turn!
Turn 2: The Orks Yell a Lot and Drink Even More!
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh! I shout at the top of my lungs, shocking the other tables into terrified silence! The entire ork army surges forward. Gretchin, the heroes of the campaign come onto the board, having just one more battle before their 50 year retirement!
The immobilized walkers scream in protest and start spitting bullets and rounds across the board. Big Mek "Never Gonna Let You Down" zooms over and tries to repair the immobilized Gorkinator. He rams his bike into it's legs (the best way he knows how to fix it), but has no effect. The deff dreads and killa kans smash into the hydra, chimeras, while Big Boss Muffin Smasher slams into one of the wyverns. The effect on the vehicles is one sided, but none are outright destroyed (immobilized rules on multiple). The orks brace for another round of firepower.
The immobilized walkers scream in protest and start spitting bullets and rounds across the board. Big Mek "Never Gonna Let You Down" zooms over and tries to repair the immobilized Gorkinator. He rams his bike into it's legs (the best way he knows how to fix it), but has no effect. The deff dreads and killa kans smash into the hydra, chimeras, while Big Boss Muffin Smasher slams into one of the wyverns. The effect on the vehicles is one sided, but none are outright destroyed (immobilized rules on multiple). The orks brace for another round of firepower.
NOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Steve turned to Bob, his red eyes shinning in the bright reflection of the felt landscape. "Bob, it's been a pleasure serving besides you. I'll miss your jovial humor and stories of your fourteen children." Bob Smiled. " Steve, I just wanted to tell yoou BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt
NOooooooooooooo!
BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt
NOooooooooooooo!
The bodies of gretchin exploding in spectacular fashion as an outflanking punisher cannon unloaded into their final farewell retirement party. Never again would bob 1-5 and steve 1-5 ever tell another tale of valiant heroism. The punisher even took particular pride is grinding its treads over their life insurance papers, so no gretchin would get any amount of beer for this loss.
The Ball So Hard Tanks, invigorated by their easy gretchin prey, continued firing round and round into the walkers with melta and cannon. Killa kans exploded, hull points were stripped. Wyvern and demolisher shots landed....and the warboss made about fiveteen feel no pain rolls. Dis alls U Got?
In retribution to their fallen comrades, the deff dread ripped the hydra apart, and stood on it's wrecked hull, bellowing a challenge. But the speakers werne't working, so nobody heard him. The warboss ripped straight through the wyvern and zoomed towards the next one...
In retribution to their fallen comrades, the deff dread ripped the hydra apart, and stood on it's wrecked hull, bellowing a challenge. But the speakers werne't working, so nobody heard him. The warboss ripped straight through the wyvern and zoomed towards the next one...
Turn 3: For Bob and Steve!!!
Big Mek "Never Gonna Desert You" revved his engine and slammed into Gorkatron for the 2nd time....the leg brace falling away and unjamming the sprocket alternator juice. The giant machine began to move again. The fight was not over yet!
Firing from killa kans stripped hull points off tanks, and blew a chimera sky high. One deff dread tripped and immobilized himself.
The warboss and painboy zoomed forward once again, leaping high over terrain (and making a 10 inch charge), to slam into the command tanks. THIS IS FOR BOB! He screamed as his buzz saw bit into the lead tank, and he drove right through both behemoths in a shower of exploding ammunition and fuel. When the smoke cleared, there was only a beautiful twisted hulk of metal in the shape of the lost gretchin, and a smiling warboss.
Firing from killa kans stripped hull points off tanks, and blew a chimera sky high. One deff dread tripped and immobilized himself.
The warboss and painboy zoomed forward once again, leaping high over terrain (and making a 10 inch charge), to slam into the command tanks. THIS IS FOR BOB! He screamed as his buzz saw bit into the lead tank, and he drove right through both behemoths in a shower of exploding ammunition and fuel. When the smoke cleared, there was only a beautiful twisted hulk of metal in the shape of the lost gretchin, and a smiling warboss.
(note: I know the dice says turn 4, but this is just the start of my turn before I moved anything, so basically the end of turn 3)
Melta shots ringed out, bouncing off the immobilized giant walker. The warboss ignored incoming sharpnel and pain from nearby explosions...were the tanks still firing at him? Didn't they know better? Suddenly the explosion of a killa kan on the right flank caught his attention. "Damn umies, gunna lern dem gud!"
The big mek turned from the walkers leg to see a bright flash, as plasma engulfed him and wiped him from existence. But at least he'd meet Bob who owed him five bucks. The tide was shifting again with the arrival of two Guard tanks on the ork's far flank. With back armor exposed, these tanks quickly make quick work of a killa kan and the big mek!
The big mek turned from the walkers leg to see a bright flash, as plasma engulfed him and wiped him from existence. But at least he'd meet Bob who owed him five bucks. The tide was shifting again with the arrival of two Guard tanks on the ork's far flank. With back armor exposed, these tanks quickly make quick work of a killa kan and the big mek!
Turn 4: Really Dan? You're Going to Shoot More of My Gretchin???
The orks are furious now. Gorkinator Extreme edition moves towards the tanks recent appearance, furious that his favorite big mek this week was just annihilated in a shower of plasma from an executioner. The warboss continues his campaign of metal recycling by blowing up another squadron of tanks. (literary showing the board in metal rain) He's in a supreme groove now, and just loving life, but secretly sad about Steve.
The painboy follows, doing nothing but constantly pumping him of orkernade. The last remaining deff dread blows something up...because that is what deff dreads do! The last remaining group of gretchin are terrified at what happened to their friends, and just want to go home to Sam's surprise baby shower. He's going to be the proud father of exactly 20 gretchin.
And in other news, it appears that plasma executioners don't like str 10 ap1 claws. The remaining killa kan on that side shakes the last remaining tank on the right flank. You know, it's the tank nobody takes because it has an autocannon as it's main gun.
The other big walker (who can't move, and now can't be repaired), kills a few guardsmen as they run for cover.
The painboy follows, doing nothing but constantly pumping him of orkernade. The last remaining deff dread blows something up...because that is what deff dreads do! The last remaining group of gretchin are terrified at what happened to their friends, and just want to go home to Sam's surprise baby shower. He's going to be the proud father of exactly 20 gretchin.
And in other news, it appears that plasma executioners don't like str 10 ap1 claws. The remaining killa kan on that side shakes the last remaining tank on the right flank. You know, it's the tank nobody takes because it has an autocannon as it's main gun.
The other big walker (who can't move, and now can't be repaired), kills a few guardsmen as they run for cover.
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt. The cries of another group of gretchin fall silent as the punisher opens up his cannon, slaughtering them to the last grot. Never again will they be able to put on their award winning production of Orklet, or Orkeo and Groliet. But at least, unknown to them, another generation of twenty gretchin at waiting back at home!
The autocannon tank backs up, takes aim, and blows up the last killa kan...ensuring their slaughter of the gretchin was full and complete.
The autocannon tank backs up, takes aim, and blows up the last killa kan...ensuring their slaughter of the gretchin was full and complete.
Turn 5: Endless Metal Showers
With the final gretchin fallen...the warboss proceeds to carve bob and steve twenty times into the remaining tanks. The gorkanaut (with 1 hp remaining), blows up the autocannon tank, which was super proud of finally doing something, and actually killing a killa kan. Of the remaining AM units, only the punisher and three guardsmen remain. The guardsmen fire, and do another HP to the gorkanaut on that side of the board, but not much of note occurs, other then Dan feels really really bad about killing all the gretchin. We roll to see if the game continues, and it ends on turn 5.
So who won the game? We both did, because it was flipping awesome. You know it's a good game when I run out of tea markers!
But in terms of the campaign....
Primary: Both of us maxed our primary scores.
Secondary: Both of us maxed drinking, yelling, and having fun scores.
Tertiary: Points...Orks still had around 875ish points remaining (2 gorks (1 hp left each), two deff dread (1 hp left each), the warboss (2W left), and the painboy (1W left).) AM had a punisher, and 3 vets left. (240ish).
Winner Orks!!!!!!!!
But in terms of the campaign, nothing happened, as the campaign shifts based on who wins primary, and we tied primary AND secondary!
MVP goes to Dan for being such an amazing and awesome opponent, and giving me one hell of a game! We'll be rematching in the future, and will see how AM does when the orks don't seize on that critical roll :)
Primary: Both of us maxed our primary scores.
Secondary: Both of us maxed drinking, yelling, and having fun scores.
Tertiary: Points...Orks still had around 875ish points remaining (2 gorks (1 hp left each), two deff dread (1 hp left each), the warboss (2W left), and the painboy (1W left).) AM had a punisher, and 3 vets left. (240ish).
Winner Orks!!!!!!!!
But in terms of the campaign, nothing happened, as the campaign shifts based on who wins primary, and we tied primary AND secondary!
MVP goes to Dan for being such an amazing and awesome opponent, and giving me one hell of a game! We'll be rematching in the future, and will see how AM does when the orks don't seize on that critical roll :)
This concludes my battle reports from Nova Open! I had an absolute blast of a time, and wish there was a mini-nova to attend before the main event...because waiting a year to have this much fun is painful! I hope you enjoyed these reports! I'll have a summary post on thursday going over my capital palette experience, classes, and other such things! Thanks for reading guys, have a great one!
RSS Feed
